Resilience

A broken arm. A death in the family. Divorce. A car accident. A serious illness. How do we cope with stressors like these? At times we find that no matter what comes at us we are able to cope and recover quickly. On other occasions we feel helpless or powerless in the face of adversity. So how can we become more resilient?

You may be familiar with the quote: “Whether a pebble becomes a stumbling block or a stepping stone depends on what you do with it.” We can affect our reaction to an event by focusing on what is within our power to change. Do you find your attitude changing as you focus on what you can do?

• Explore ways to reduce stress: Tai ji, meditation, yoga. Take one minute breathing breaks. Stand up and walk around once an hour. Try dance or movement to music. Experiment with drawing or composing. Is there something you have always wanted to try? How about now?

• Take care of yourself: Exercise. Get up. Get dressed. Go outside and start moving, even if you start by walking to the corner and back! Get enough high-quality sleep. Eat nourishing, healthy food.
• Shape your visual and aural environment to support your needs: Surround yourself with helpful pictures, music or nature sounds and sources of positive associations. What else can you do to better help you through this time? What makes you feel stronger?

• Simplify: What is the one most important thing you need to do? What can you delegate or get rid of? Would it help to turn off the phone, computer or TV, at least some of the time?

• Build confidence in your abilities by setting doable goals and meeting them successfully.
• Develop and encourage mindfulness: Direct your awareness to what you are doing now, at this moment. Sense it: hear it, taste it, feel it, see it.

• Build your support network: Find reputable doctors, websites and support groups. Seek out supportive, nurturing relationships with friends and family. Accept the assistance of others who are understanding and can help. Communicate clearly.

• Accept and adapt to changes. Change is a part of living:

Nothing ever stays the same

What we were and what we are

Give way to what we will become

And this is no choice

Except for what we choose to become

The question is not will you change

But how you will change.

May your experiences be stepping stones. 

May your path be filled with light.